Stop using abuse of any form (physical, sexual, controlling, verbal or emotional), including threats and intimidation. 

Work on controlling your anger and take the time to calm down before addressing conflicts. Identify early signs  

Be mindful of your words and how they can hurt others. Verbally degrading an intimate partner is hurtful and has lasting effects.  Telling someone they are "stupid" or degrading them is hurtful and has lasting effects. 

Learn to trust your significant other and control your jealousy.  You cannot make someone love you. 

Accept responsibility for your behavior. The use of violence in any form is always a choice. 

Do not make excuses for your violence or blame your partner for your abusive behavior.  

Recognize that assaultive behavior is unacceptable and is a criminal act.  

Seek professional help from a qualified counselor who is knowledgeable about intimate partner abuse Ask for advice on healthy relationship. 

Alcohol, drug use or mental health problems are not excuses for abusive behavior. Seek appropriate help for these problems.